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This past year.. I dunno, I've lost so many people I thought I could count on, lost my faith in so many things I though never could bring me down.
I feel more adolescent then I ever have. I don't know what to make of my life, it's so useless. I can't do anything for anyone else, if I can, I don't know why I bother anyways because it's not appreciated.
I only have two friends that will never let me down, will actually call on me once in a blue moon to chill. Cabbage and Selene, don't know what I'd do without you!
This past year.. The most amazing things have happened. People have come into my life (and left) that made me think more about what everything is all about. What I've loved in the past hasn't just faded away, it's been ripped from my grip without a care in the world, but he's happy, and will be loved, so it's okay. I hope.
I feel older, more experienced, I want to try a little differently to keep what holds me together. I need to find my faith again in things and people that are worthwhile. I never dealt with drama well, why I keep letting thoughtless people into my life I don't know.
People makes mistakes, but the worst mistake is never living up to it. I think I respect people more that can admit to the mistakes they've made and try to correct themselves and their actions, and get pushed down anyways and still try, then those that make excuses. These people are stronger then you and I.
I can't wait until I'm old and grey, to reflect on my life and realize things about it as I never have before. I wish those days were now.
October 22 2006, 07:18:49 UTC 5 years ago
I'm learning too that there are those that deserve a front row seat in your life, and those that you might want to relocate to the balcony section. Sometimes learning the difference requires a lot of trial and error. The flaw isn't you, or them per se... it's just life. You don't know the answers up front, you find them out after shit happens.
If you're like me, you let thoughtless people in because you have some hope they will enrich your life in some way. You see their potential, but maybe they don't see it for themselves and that's why they ultimately disappoint you. I think you are gifted in the ways that you know. Never lose faith.
J
P.S. I never see you on MSN anymore. I still consider you a friend, no matter how distant.
Anonymous
October 23 2006, 16:07:26 UTC 5 years ago
I've always considered you a friend (minus the span between summer of grade 6 to grade 8, lol)
In fact, the few people I consider to be the best friends I have I hardly ever see. :P
But yeh, life's unfair, I've always known that. I'll trudge around and still pick the green out of the muck though. :P